Confessions of a Yoga Teacher

A recent article in The Yoga Journal inspired today's post. Erica Roderfer is a serious yoga student but she doesn't come to the mat daily nor has she memorized the Yamas and Niyamas. Being a student of yoga, or even a teacher, has come to mean something entirely to aesthetic/tree-huggy/squishy zen-centered in our culture.

Most of the teachers I know are not gurus, and many of the students are just plain folk. So bearing that in mind, here is my confession list:

1) I don't practice daily either though between teaching and attending classes, I hit the mat about five times a week on average. Yoga is part of my life but it isn't my life. I think about alignment constantly though because left to its own devices, my feet would pronate and my hips would be cock-eyed and my shoulders would round like a hunchback. Not good things.

2) I don't meditate. I just don't. I try to convince myself that it would be awesome and make my insides shiny, but I don't buy it. I do lose myself in asana, so it's all good. imo.

3) I am kind of judgey where other teachers are concerned. Random sequence with no attention to alignment grates and when the class opens with "Any favorite poses?" I don't come back because it says to me that the teacher really isn't thinking about teaching enough to bother to plan a bit in advance and disjointed sequencing leads to injuries when the body is asked to do something without being properly warmed and prepared.

4) Teaching has made me less self-conscious about how I look in a pose, but I still sometimes peek at my classmates. It shouldn't matter, but the competitive part of me won't give up quietly.

5) I am not vegan or a foodie. I limit the amount of prepared food I feed my family and try to cook and bake the majority of what we eat. I even garden though I dislike the whole "tilling of the soil" thing. But I won't be writing a yoga cookbook anytime soon.

6) Sometimes I have to gear myself up to teach. It's been a long stretch without a vacation for me, and I admit that there are evenings when I wouldn't be broken-hearted if no one showed up and I could just pack up my mat and go home. Once students arrive and class begins, the feeling disappears and I am usually quite energized by the end of a class - but I am not always Ms. Yoga Sunshine at the front of the room. Sometimes I am tired, distracted or not feeling well. Teaching yoga is no different from the time I spent teaching high school kids and some days, I'd rather be somewhere else.

7) I can't do every pose and some poses I probably won't master in this lifetime. I am the teacher I am and it might be right for you and it might not. No worries.